You may say......

I'm doing everything right but it's not working

 You may say.......

There were red flags when you were dating

Hurting people hurt others

Did you dream of that perfect marriage,

but once you were married,

the real deal was staring you in the face,

and it was scary.

 I've seen this first hand

If your spouse grew up in a family with abusive behavior like alcohol, drugs, physical or mental abuse, or even divorced parents, they more than likely, have some issues.  

Time may mend, but seeking help speeds up the process.  

#1 - Your spouse can not exhibit behavior that's never been modeled for them before.

#2 - Know, that it's not your fault.

#3 - Seek help now instead of waiting till it's too late. (I suggest Christian Counseling, because they care about keeping families together.)

You know that ole saying.......

You are like the 5 people you hang around with the most?

 Well, take a look at yourself, then look at your spouse. 

Do you find it's true?

Let me ask, What do you remember about childhood?

What kind of values were instilled in you by your parents? 

How would your spouse answer those questions?

We can only imitate what we've seen. 

So again I say......

"You can only exhibit the behavior you have witnessed in your life." 

What were your experiences?

What did your spouses family life look like?

These factors feed into who we are and how we handle the pressures of life.