Calm Marital Conflict with STOP

So, I just finished an upcoming podcast with my daughter.  It happens to be the last in the Empowered to Love Series where you can begin to overcome... what brings down way too many marriages. 

Conflict!  Over reacting.  Unforgiveness!

Way.. too... many... couples... get caught up in the frustration and irritation, unable to find their way out of it.  Once we are mad, hurt, or scared that every time we see our spouse they are going to explode, we're stuck.  I call it the CRAZY CYCLE, the book "Empowered to Love" calls it the REACTIVE CYCLE.

Knowledge is power.

Power is being able to take action.

Action begins the process of healing the wounds and overcoming the Reactive Cycle. 

Overcoming the Reactive Cycle means FREEDOM to love and enjoy your relationship.  But it takes at least ONE person, seeking help, looking for answers. 

You can begin with the S-T-O-P Method. 

This is just part of podcast episode 124. 

If you're finding a lot of bitterness, begin listening with episode 96 - The Forgiveness Formula.

Begin your conversation with your spouse, using my free guide that helps you find some things in common and the things you need most from each other. 

It's easy, it's free, and it will help you both improve the desire, to communicate or talk more together.  (Practice what you learn for a month)

Once you've done that, you can begin to talk about ways to heal the disconnect. 

Begin with the STOP method.

The STOP method is a simple way to interrupt a stress reaction before your argument gets heated up.  Once you're both heated, nobody is listening, Right?

S - Stop

T - Take a breath

O - Observe... what started this?  Are either of us stressed out, tired, or over reacting? 

P - Proceed - Now that you stopped and you're thinking about it, should you both step away, begin again, or set another time when you are rested and ready to talk more kindly to one another.

The STOP method helps you pause, calm down, notice what’s happening, and then respond wisely instead of reacting emotionally.  

If you're having shouting matches with your spouse, I suggest you begin a notebook and add the notes of the STOP method for use after you've began using my free guide, and you're spending more time together and talking more about what you want your lives to look like.

Healing will be a process.  Begin today.

I'm Connie Durham and I believe you can breakthrough what's dividing you.  It may not be easy, but when you find the support and knowledge you need, your chances of success grow.

BLOG #8 from overcoming 20 marital issues - 20 blogs in four weeks

www.theextraordinarymarriage.com