Reaching into my nightstand drawer, and fumbling through the junk for the TV control, I'm reminded that it's back to work. (After Christmas) Time to regain focus on what I want to accomplish this year.  There's nothing worse than wandering in the wilderness, listlessly, without purpose or direction.

As I go down the stairs for the first time this morning, which direction will I head?  What's the most important thing I'll do today?  Have I planned it?  Do I have a list?  What's first?  

As I prepare for a successful new beginning this year, I see overfilled drawers, closets, and clutter from the past year that cloud my mind with things I need to do and guilt for lack of action this past year. It's important that I let go of one thing, in order to do, what's most important to me.

What do you need to let go of this year, in order to enhance your marriage and family?  I like to say... Happy Couples = Happier Kids, because a healthy family life begins with a healthy, respectful, lovin...

For me, it's more fun to go to the party rather than BE the party!  Someone else has done the prep, invited the people, decorated, shopped, cooked, and is now serving.  I realized this at my first birthday party for my oldest son.  I loved planning, decorating the cake, greeting the guest... but as the party got started, I got busy and had little time to chit chat with everyone.

Talking with everyone is my happy place

It's Christmas this week, and as I go upstairs to take one more inventory of all the gifts I bought, making sure to have the same amount for each of my 15 grand kids, hoping they like what we got them, this is it.  Tonight, my family celebrates Christmas together.

With 23 people coming for dinner tonight, I have to tell you, it's hard getting everyone together all at once.  Sometimes I yearn to back it all up to the way it was 10 years ago when our group was smaller, easier, simpler.  But this is part of life.  The most important thing is passing along love, caring and...

It's taken me years to realize that self-awareness is the begging of successfully connecting to others.  Too often adversity and frustration with another person begins with our own mood, circumstances, or expectations.

Do you see everything that can go wrong, or do you shift to positive possibilities?

Are you overtaken easily by anger?

Would others describe you as patient or impatient?

You see... you must first know yourself before you can get along with others.

Excellent communication makes your spouse feel seen, heard, and appreciated.  After all, they are your #1 and they need to know it.  Touching base during the day, eating dinner together, going on a walk, discussing your day, planning for the week together, all keep communication open and positive.  One biggie when talking with your spouse is keeping a loving tone of voice.  It is said that couples need 15 hours together in some sort of way every week.

Listening... goes right along with excellent communication.  Eye con...

Taking out the trash when it's full is a great habit because it keeps your kitchen from stinking up your house!  There are habits you use at work like, being on time, following through with responsibilities, and doing first things... 1st each day.  Your Habits will predict your future.  Great habits build repour, trust, and integrity with those around you.

So why don't we think about our habits with our spouse?

Many times, our behavior depends on our mood, emotions, and what's going on with the kids and work.  Are we getting enough sleep or is our schedule stressing us out!

Some people are patient and easy going while others become tense and impatient causing them to be critical or explosive.  Which one are you?

You see... if you are critical or explosive, it's like a daily badgering to your spouse.

You see... if you are on the receiving end, the air is literally sucked out of life... each and every day.

Here's the thing... more than likely...

You don't realize how your behav...

No matter how long you've been married or what all you think you know about marriage, there's always going to be one more thing to learn.

My husband and I have been married over 46 years, I help couples shift from ho-hum or strained marriages to better communication, mutual respect, trust, and even more romantic love. But... just a few months ago we bought two beautiful cream-colored lazy boy recliners from my father-in-law.

We love them!  They're beautiful.  They're comfortable. 

But we miss each other!!

 Through the last 2 years of "The Extraordinary Marriage" podcast, I've shared a plethora of relationship concepts from...

• Setting goals together  
• Learning to listen to one another
• Not letting your past interfere with your future
• Understanding one another's TOP Needs
• How your values bring you together or push you apart
• The importance of understanding what makes you each both TICK

And here I am contemplating selling those appealingly beautiful, comfy chairs!

WHY?

Beca...

Feeling married, alone and wanting more out of life?

"If you're going to reach your goals, you have to start with a solid foundation, which is comprised of honesty, character, integrity, loyalty, trust, love, and faith"

Zig Ziggler

What does your relationship foundation look like?  Does it need some work?  Are you and your spouse both on board, doing what's necessity to make it happen?  What do you do if it's just you alone look for improvement?  You pray. You dig deep and you pray again.

Marriage is not always a bed of roses. 

Remember that even beautiful roses have thorns.

Pain fills us with emotion, negative voices, that stop us in our tracks and hold us hostage.  Where do we find the energy to keep going?  In prayer and with those who love us, pick us up and encourage us, allowing us to move forward one step at a time.

Hurting people hurt others, they just can't seem to help themselves.  They too want help but ask for it in odd ways.

--- Begin with prayer and picture...

You wake up, put your feet on the ground, and you're off to great day or... what if it's a bad day?  How's work going?  How's your home life?  What did you watch before bed last night?

More and more this world exudes hostility, negative politics, drug commercials that show beautiful pictures and words of death and sickness.

OK... that's enough of that!  It's up to you to use common sense, analyze, and decide what your day's going look like.  Yes... some days begin better than others, but what we focus on and listen to, contributes to how we feel for the day.

I challenge you to pay attention.  Focus on the things you WANT in your life.  

Opportunities, love, acceptance, positive people, good health and ideas that contribute to living well.  RIGHT?

So... if your relationships are suffering from any of the above negativities... figure out how to turn that around!  Create the life, you're happy live.  

Focus on all things that are good.

Be sure and watch the short video, and if you ...

You never want to think about your marriage as SCARY... but sometimes you get something after the knot is tied... that you never imagined! 

It might be moodiness, outburst of anger, constant criticism, overspending, you might feel neglected and you're thinking, IS THIS WHAT MY WHOLE LIFE IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE?

We all put our best self forward when we're dating, but living together can bring out the worst in people.  There are many reasons you couldn't see this in the first place and you're thinking, why is this happening?

Well, it's not that everyone changes on purpose but now you're together even more than before.  Here are some the causes of a ScArY Marriage.

• You and your spouse are opposites
• ScAry emotions and trouble from the past are now evident 
• Your upbringing & values are different
• There's a lack of respect, thoughtfulness, & kindness...because it wasn't learned 

What can you do?

• I believe Christianity is your first stop... God's help... Prayer 
• I believe...

You've been living with your parents, you're working and you never feel like you have enough money.  Now you're married and nothings changed except now you're coming up short every month.  You're thinking about buying that brand new car, you love eating out and buying the latest video game.  Your spousing is eyeing the latest fashions, wanting to decorate, and dreams of buying a house.

What happens when you get married? 

Have your parents bought you everything you want?

Do you saved any money?

Now you're married, you've gotta share everything and hey... it's your paycheck, you worked hard, now you're ready for your rewards.

We all want to hear, you deserve it, spend it, buy what you want, but the truth is... Now you are part of a team, stepping into real life where setting boundaries for yourself, building excellent credit, and discussing how and where to spend your paychecks will keep the arguments down, because stress will kill your love life.

Financial responsibility is one o...

Romance is easy when everything in life

is going according to plan.

But what happens when you're sleep deprived, worried about paying your bills, emotions are high, and your relationship is feeling rocky?  

When the going gets tough, the tough get going, or do we fade and fold?  Sometimes I feel like I'm crumbling and I'd like to fold.  Sanity comes back when you remember what you're thankful for, you remember to be loving, and fight yourself... focus on what is right and true.  Too often the emotions of the day take over and whisper the negatives that destroy us... and our relationship.

Let's practice Romance... keeping or bringing back that romance that keeps our love life thriving.