Hello Friend,

Are you feeling disconnected from your spouse? Many married women report feeling this way, with pretty good size problems 70% of the time and life is livable... just 30% of the time.  If you find yourself walking on eggshells, dreading your spouse coming home from work, or feeling exhausted from arguments, you're not alone.

Here are three ways to move forward and regain your confidence and hope:

1. Draw Closer to God:

   • Engage in private prayer.
   • Find a supportive church community.
   • Experience returned hope.

2. Understand It's Not Your Fault:

   • Recognize that gaslighting may be involved.
   • Acknowledge deeper issues.
   • Know that your spouse may lack the skills to communicate.

3. Put on the Shoes of Your Spouse:

   • Is he stressed?
   • What does he need most from you?
   • Does he need time to decompress from the day?

Coaching Questions to Help You Solve Your Problem:

• Have you set your expectations too high?
• What’s most important to each of you in life?
• Wha...

Valentine’s Week is here, and while roses and chocolates are nice, let’s talk about what really matters: love languages! If you want to avoid that awkward moment when you give your spouse a gift they don’t want, you need to learn how to speak their love language and figure out what's most important to THEM. This week, we’ll explore the 5 Love Languages and how understanding them, can enhance communication and connection in your marriage.

But wait, there’s more! If you want to ensure lifelong success in your marriage, here are three areas to understand about your spouse:

1. Their Personality Style: Uncover how to handle their temperament, how they think, what’s most important to them, and how they respond to everything.  This is what I use for coaching and share in the "ReDISCover Your Spouse" workshop.
2. What They NEED Most from You: You can find this in “The Chemistry of Lasting Love.”  It's FREE
3. Their Love Language: It’s simple—just ask them!

And speaking of love languages, let’s...

Time spent together is a well spent investment.  More than likely it's fun and similar interest that brought you together in the first place.  The book called "His Needs, Her Needs" says that couples need 15 hours a week together to keep the romantic love flowing.  If you think about it... it's when you're both kept way too busy, stressed out and tired, that you snap at each other and are irritated by one another's actions.  If you want to spend the rest of your life together... and you want it to be a GOOD life... best remember to continue to invest your time and energy into it.

Here are 7 simple date night ideas.  Often, we do the same ole thing, like the movies or dinner out.  Finding new things to learn or do together, also gives you something NEW to talk about and keeps life more interesting.  In The Chemistry of Lasting Love, I share 50 Date Ideas.  You narrow them down by each choosing your Top 10 or 15, then see which ones you have in common.  For renewed romance, it's importa...

 Living with a narcissist can be painful and degrading.  In last week's blog we talked about what causes narcissism.  Once you understand that, you may be able to have empathy or mercy on their horrible behavior, if you can see past your own pain.

Somehow, possibly through their own challenges growing up, the need for self-preservation became so strong, they never developed empathy or any kind of thought for others.

Prayer and patience can make a difference, add counseling to that if they'll go.  They really do need HELP and so do you.  Below are the out-of-control behaviors they exhibit and ways you can cope and learn how to keep from setting them off emotionally.

My Quilting get together is today.  It's the first week back to everything after the holidays.  I pride myself in keeping my commitments and I'm looking forward to working on a baby quilt.  Time is of the essence... that baby will be here soon.

My day begins great, but not with what I'd planned.  I'm also back on that crazy diet that works, (I lost 10 lbs. in the fall) it's nutritious, it's real food... but it takes following the guide and lots of extra prep time.  That's why I've gained weight, always in a hurry, don't eat until I'm starving, then I grab PB&J and anything else that's close by.

I text my quilting friends that I'll be an hour late. I finish the two work items that I've deemed most important this morning, make my salad for lunch, grab my snack that's on the list, realize I still haven't eaten breakfast, I've got to put my sewing machine and sewing box in the car... and suddenly I realize... I'm running around like a crazy woman. 

STOP!  It's 30 minutes to my quilting ...

90% of what is put into our minds daily

is of a negative nature.

John Maxwell

What if you could turn that around?  Would you be willing?  Would you take action?  

It would require going into protection mode.

Stop hanging around people with bad attitudes, bad language, dishonest people who are only thinking... what can YOU do for me. 

When watching TV... You'd become aware of beautiful people and landscapes in drug commercials that pronounce sickness and death into your Mind.  Are you thinking about that now?  Pretty pictures, maybe nice music, telling you all of the ways their product can kill, but you should take it?  Ever notice that there's often 5 to 10 minutes of the show you're watching and then 5 minutes of commercials?

You'd need to stop being reactive and educate yourself in how to be proactive, in order to switch up your thoughts and regain hope.

The book of Romans, chapter 12, verse 2 says:  Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the re...

Reaching into my nightstand drawer, and fumbling through the junk for the TV control, I'm reminded that it's back to work. (After Christmas) Time to regain focus on what I want to accomplish this year.  There's nothing worse than wandering in the wilderness, listlessly, without purpose or direction.

As I go down the stairs for the first time this morning, which direction will I head?  What's the most important thing I'll do today?  Have I planned it?  Do I have a list?  What's first?  

As I prepare for a successful new beginning this year, I see overfilled drawers, closets, and clutter from the past year that cloud my mind with things I need to do and guilt for lack of action this past year. It's important that I let go of one thing, in order to do, what's most important to me.

What do you need to let go of this year, in order to enhance your marriage and family?  I like to say... Happy Couples = Happier Kids, because a healthy family life begins with a healthy, respectful, lovin...

For me, it's more fun to go to the party rather than BE the party!  Someone else has done the prep, invited the people, decorated, shopped, cooked, and is now serving.  I realized this at my first birthday party for my oldest son.  I loved planning, decorating the cake, greeting the guest... but as the party got started, I got busy and had little time to chit chat with everyone.

Talking with everyone is my happy place

It's Christmas this week, and as I go upstairs to take one more inventory of all the gifts I bought, making sure to have the same amount for each of my 15 grand kids, hoping they like what we got them, this is it.  Tonight, my family celebrates Christmas together.

With 23 people coming for dinner tonight, I have to tell you, it's hard getting everyone together all at once.  Sometimes I yearn to back it all up to the way it was 10 years ago when our group was smaller, easier, simpler.  But this is part of life.  The most important thing is passing along love, caring and...

It's taken me years to realize that self-awareness is the begging of successfully connecting to others.  Too often adversity and frustration with another person begins with our own mood, circumstances, or expectations.

Do you see everything that can go wrong, or do you shift to positive possibilities?

Are you overtaken easily by anger?

Would others describe you as patient or impatient?

You see... you must first know yourself before you can get along with others.

Excellent communication makes your spouse feel seen, heard, and appreciated.  After all, they are your #1 and they need to know it.  Touching base during the day, eating dinner together, going on a walk, discussing your day, planning for the week together, all keep communication open and positive.  One biggie when talking with your spouse is keeping a loving tone of voice.  It is said that couples need 15 hours together in some sort of way every week.

Listening... goes right along with excellent communication.  Eye con...