Creating Lifetime Attraction in Marriage

You're not going to adore and desire your spouse every moment of every day.  Sometimes you're going to butt heads, lose patients, yell, or want to be alone.  It's different for everyone.  But ultimately, if you want to stay married, you need to figure out how you can find that lasting love, that keeps you attracted to one another.

We just came back from camping with friends.  They too have been married over 40 years.  You might think we're old... but we still feel young, hopeful and adventurous.  We remember raising our kids, up early, non-stop, dropping into bed at night.  Our husbands worked full time and we wives worked part time, raised our kids, and took care of the home front.  We often got together for dinners, were involved in church, family get togethers, PTA, dance classes, and sports. 

I now watch my kids with their families and remember the exhaustion and how I never thought about how or if we would have a happy long-lasting marriage.  I just expected we would.

 Now I have time to reflect, and I see how people grow apart.  

Let me share the things we did naturally, that kept the attraction.  THINK as you read and mentally check off what applies to you and your spouse and WHAT you need to work on to make your relationship better!

• Talking and sharing openly often
• Listening and caring daily
• Being respectful and having patience when needed
• Expecting the best from every situation 
• Not just my way, but learning to meet in the middle

We were lucky!  We both came from Christian families where respecting the other person was practiced and demonstrated for us.  We had compatible personalities and worked together to understand what was most important to each other, creating a family format that worked well for both of us.

What happens if this is not your story?

It's up to you to uncover the culprits that divide you.  You or your spouse may not have witnessed a successful marriage growing up.  Now it's up to you to figure that out.  You CAN do it...  if you put your mind to it!  

Begin by uncovering what makes YOU and YOUR Spouse FEEL Loved (or unloved).  Download "The Chemistry of Lasting Love", Listen to the recordings... assess your top needs, then share the recordings and notes with your spouse.  After they assess their top needs, you can step back from what's causing havoc and focus on what brings your together. 

I promise, if you focus even on this one thing, practice, review it weekly with your spouse... you will start to FEEL and see the difference.

You see, we humans are not so different.  We all want to feel loved, appreciated and supported.  What seems to be complicated can be resolved by understanding what your spouse needs most from you.  They may not even know what they need.

Take Action.

Follow through.

See the Light!

Stay Attracted because you like each other, you're good to each other, you support each other!  Learn how better communication and understanding will heal, enrich, and grow the attraction in your relationship. 

     Connie Durham, host of "The Extraordinary Marriage" podcast and online relationship coach living in the suburbs of Atlanta, GA.

Find me @ www.theextraordinarymarriage.com 

Email for help [email protected] 

Listen to the podcast on APPLE & Spotify or on my web page