Marriage, Empowered to Love

As people we each have different formative upbringing, life experiences, and hopes for our future. We enter marriage with thoughts of sweet love and building a future together.  There are ups, there are downs, there are times we wonder if we'll successfully make it to the finish line.  We can, if we choose to.  If we listen to one another and truly care.  We can if we focus on what is right, instead of what we fear is wrong.

Truth is that we get hung up on what bothers us or irritates us about out spouse.

We get focused on that, causing us to be critical and judgmental.  Maybe we don't mean to, but that's what we do.  It's like fighting our inner spirit, we know it's not right, but it just bubbles out anyway.  The only way I know around this is to pray that God will help you see and focus on the good qualities of your spouse.

Take a look at the world.  Negative always gets more attention than positive.  Think about the last time you shared an exciting positive story about someone else.  Maybe a word of praise about your spouse.  Something you appreciate or you're thankful for.  Evil thoughts and words get us nowhere.  Infidelity begins with someone else making your spouse feel special, desirable, worthy.

Let us empower ourselves to Love the way we want to be Loved.

The book of Luke 6:31 reinforces this teaching: “Do to others as you would have them do to you."

Empower a more loving, caring marriage by learning and practicing the art of making DEPOSITS in your relationship.  Just like your bank account has Deposits and Withdrawals, so does your marriage.  To many withdrawals like, criticism, temper tantrums, moodiness, mistrust, irresponsibility, lying, and being selfish and unthoughtful cause love to be lost. 

Think about it, do you like people like that?  

Do we act like that at work, around friends and other family?

How can we build on and keep the Love we began with in our marriage? 

By making way more Deposits in our daily relationship rather than withdrawals.  Being a great listener, truly listening and caring, being helpful, doing your part, complimenting and giving praise for all things good.  Ultimately spending TIME together, finding more in common, laughing and having a good time together.

What if your spouse has withdrawn from your love account and you are right about empty?  You're having trouble remembering the last deposit.

One person looking for solutions will make a difference.

Focus and look for the good, react less, begin to pray for what you want to see, visualize it, expect it... give thanks for every step in the right direction.  Find the things that help you keep your cup full along the way.  Time with friends, a hobby, quiet time, reading a book, learning something new.

Begin with understanding how you are each different.

Why you each Think... Act... and Respond the way you do.

First, you must love yourself.

Achieve new growth and understanding in your relationship with my Online Workshop for spouses who are looking for answers and ways to relate successfully to their spouse.  "ReDISCover Your Spouse"

What's it worth to you?  The price of a weeks' vacation rental...  20 Starbucks coffees or Energy Drinks at the local gas station... cable TV... You decide.

Connie Durham, The Extraordinary Marriage Podcast