Relationships are hard. We all come with our own agenda, wants, needs, emotions, and adversities, but for some the challenges are hard to bear.
What if the spouse we witness before marriage is nothing like the person we live with. Maybe they are charismatic when in public, but demeaning, explosive, or withdrawn at home. How can this be?
Even this weekend I participated in an event where several women appeared to be strong, confident, and knowledgeable... but as each one shared their heart, they became soft, sad and less sure of themselves. They were adults, who had grown up without Love and Care. Several were new believers in Jesus. I could feel the hurt as they spoke and it reminded me that...
"Hurting People Hurt Others"
Passed from generation to generation.
Messed up people... mess up others.
People cannot give... what they've never experienced. "LOVE"
The hurtful words are not about YOU... they are about the deep hurts within.
The book of Philippians chapter 4: verses 6-7 says...
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Faith changes lives. Do you know the God of Love? Prayer is your first area of defense. There are too many people growing up, feeling unloved because their parents also felt unloved, and you can't give what you've never experienced.
The book of Lamentations, chapter 3, verses 22-23 says...
22 Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.
If you find yourself in this place, with a spouse that makes you feel threatened day in and day out.
Where you feel you can't do anything right for them and every day you feel more alone, begin to read God's word, connect with a Christian church, talk with a supportive friend you trust and connect with "The Extraordinary Marriage" for encouragement, support, and ways to understand your spouse more.
I can't tell you there's a quick fix, but a process that gives you hope. A road to walk. Begin by understanding what your spouse needs most from you. Be enthusiastic, talk to them when they are rested, and congenial. Print out the worksheets and talk about what's most important to each of you. It could be a new beginning. It's FREE - The Chemistry of Lasting Love.
Faith * Family * Fortified
Like to read?
Read "Empowered to Love" by Robert S. Paul, MS and Tara Lalonde, PhD
Connie Durham
Atlanta, GA
