How to Speak Your Sweetheart's Love Language: Tips for Connection

Valentine’s Week is here, and while roses and chocolates are nice, let’s talk about what really matters: love languages! If you want to avoid that awkward moment when you give your spouse a gift they don’t want, you need to learn how to speak their love language and figure out what's most important to THEM. This week, we’ll explore the 5 Love Languages and how understanding them, can enhance communication and connection in your marriage.

But wait, there’s more! If you want to ensure lifelong success in your marriage, here are three areas to understand about your spouse:

1. Their Personality Style: Uncover how to handle their temperament, how they think, what’s most important to them, and how they respond to everything.  This is what I use for coaching and share in the "ReDISCover Your Spouse" workshop.
2. What They NEED Most from You: You can find this in “The Chemistry of Lasting Love.”  It's FREE
3. Their Love Language: It’s simple—just ask them!

And speaking of love languages, let’s break those down too:

• Words of Affirmation: If your partner loves to hear “I love you” or “You’re amazing,” this is their love language.  Encouragement and appreciation make DEPOSITS into your relationship.
• Acts of Service: If your partner feels loved when you do chores or errands for them, this is their love language.  They feel loved and cared for when you are helpful. 
• Receiving Gifts: If your partner feels loved when you give them gifts, this is their love language.  It can be small surprises or lavish gifts on special occasions. 
• Quality Time: If your partner feels loved when you spend time with them, this is their love language.  That might be talking, eating together, cooking together, or just watching TV.
• Physical Touch: If your partner feels loved when you hug, kiss, or cuddle with them, this is their love language.  Holding hands, sitting close while watching a movie, and greeting them at the end of the day all make deposits into this love language.

Seems simple doesn't it?  Living with someone day in and day out can be draining, or it can be uplifting.  Which would you like?  Proactive and positive actions lead to making Deposits in your relationship.  Negative actions and reactions withdraw from your relationship. 

The more you understand the wants, needs, and behaviors of your spouse, and how to handle them, the easier connection and communication get.

So, this Valentine’s, learn to speak your partner’s love language and watch your relationship blossom!

In Him our hearts rejoice.  Psalm 33:21

Connie Durham

Host of The Extraordinary Marriage Podcast

Wife, Mom, Nana, Coach and Speaker

Atlanta, GA Suburbs

PS 4-minute video on Love Languages