ReDISCover Your Partner: The Art of Language in Personality Styles

I was just sitting on my back deck and because we've had a few warm days, I can hear a variety of crocking frogs, deep voices, high voices, loud voices. They're looking for who... is speaking their love language!

You know, as people, we like to be talked to a certain way. Maybe it's straight forward. Maybe it's more important to be thoughtful and kind, but however it is, that we communicate, we expect the same from our spouse. If we're both blunt, we're good. But if you're blunt and it hurts your spouse’s feelings then you need to know it and change it.

I have several friends who are straight forward... AKA blunt. I know I can be the same with them. Normally that's not my style. I'm always strategic when I have to tell someone something I know they don't want to hear. I detest conflict.

People who get loud, blunt, and don't care if you like what they're saying are a part of the group of D personalities that are leaders, principles, and business owners. These people will speak up for you, no problem. One problem, if you're an S personality, they walk all over you and if you're married to a D personality, you, as an S, clam up and maybe even dread your spouse coming home. You do not know what mood they will be in.

Did you read the last blog "Personalities in Marriage"? I shared the D-I-S-C personality styles. Each of the letters stands for a Basic Personality Style... we're each high in one of them and then have a unique combination of the others.

S & D are opposites - I & C are opposites

That means as an I personality style, if I married a C personality style, my need for conversation would be bothersome to my spouse. I need conversation, he would need quite time. Ouch! What can we do? Well, do you want to know how to get over those speed bumps?

Some of us are Selfish while others are Selfless.

If you love being around people but your spouse despises it, meeting in the middle means sometimes you hang out with friends, and sometimes they go with you. The Chemistry of Lasting Love Podcast Series tells us of the importance of spending time together, making our best memories, things that we do together. So it's important to find those.

Selfless is easy for the S personality... that's how they roll. You wonder... do you really not care what you eat tonight... I know I care. Somebody needs a $100... you give them $100. There's a call for help on a project at work... off they go. The S... is most always kind, overly thoughtful, and there for you anytime you need them.

Conversations are great between the I & the D... they're fast pace, jumping all over the place. Body language can be seen on the faces, the hands are used to describe what's being talked about. There's energy in the room.

The S's and C's keep a more methodical pace, each taking turns, keeping it quiet. There may be little expression shown through their body language. Their conversation could be had, in the library without getting shushed.
The Secret language of D-I-S-C is just like the conversation the frogs were having outside today.

I didn't know their language and couldn't understand them. If you were under the Sea... there would be a plethora of aquatic languages that you wouldn't understand. Think about your dog when they hop up beside you wagging their tail, you know they're excited about something, but it might be hit and miss on figuring it out.

When your spouse is quiet and doesn't open up easily, you don't know what they're thinking. What they need from you. How to really connect, support them, figure out what builds that romantic love between you. You'd never want to crush them, hurt them, cause them to feel lonely or hopeless. At least I hope not. Let's bring back that loving feeling.

We want to be selfless, thoughtful, engaging and we can, when we understand what motivates our spouse and what we each need to thrive. Take a LOOK @ ReDISCover your Spouse today!! The cost is the price of dinner out with your family. Not understanding one another can cost more than you'd ever want to pay.

I'm Connie Durham, I live in the Atlanta, GA area. I've been married over 40 years, have 3 grown kids with a total of 15 grandkids. Some families are blended, but we all love and care for one another and do what we need to, to get along. Selfish or Selfless --- Proactive or Reactive --- Quiet or Loud --- We are family!