5 Words that Equal Marital Success

It's taken me years to realize that self-awareness is the begging of successfully connecting to others.  Too often adversity and frustration with another person begins with our own mood, circumstances, or expectations.

Do you see everything that can go wrong, or do you shift to positive possibilities?

Are you overtaken easily by anger?

Would others describe you as patient or impatient?

You see... you must first know yourself before you can get along with others.

Excellent communication makes your spouse feel seen, heard, and appreciated.  After all, they are your #1 and they need to know it.  Touching base during the day, eating dinner together, going on a walk, discussing your day, planning for the week together, all keep communication open and positive.  One biggie when talking with your spouse is keeping a loving tone of voice.  It is said that couples need 15 hours together in some sort of way every week.

Listening... goes right along with excellent communication.  Eye contact and sometimes repeating what they said in order to confirm you're listening.  This takes work.  Often my husband hears what I'm saying, differently than how I'm saying it.  We sometimes listen, thinking we know what the other persons going to say.  Expect the best.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T each other.  Loss of respect can be caused by criticism, anger issues, lack of appreciation of your spouse or unawareness of your own behavior.  You show your spouse respect because of who YOU are, not because of who they are.  Ouch!  Many marriages fall into the CRAZY CYCLE because of lack of personal integrity and respect.

If you have a LOVING spirit, you are forgiving, expect the best, patient and work hard in making your marriage successful.  Love covers a lot of sins.  God first loved you, created you, and lays the foundation for successful families.  

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Found in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13. 

Success begins with self-awareness and knowing your strengths, tendencies, and behavioral patterns.  Next comes understanding how those affect your relationship in a negative or positive way.

Marriage is not a destination but a new beginning, growing in love and wisdom as you embrace one another and continue the growth journey.

Connie Durham

Helping couples understand their differences

The Extraordinary Marriage Podcast