MARRIAGE: Listen, Talk, Listen

It's been about 2 years since we got our camper and began camping and Kayaking at the lake.  We love spending those quiet moments together, having fun, talking, hiking, reading a great book, dreaming.  It is said that couples need to spend around 15 hours a week together doing such things and that it's important to have fun with your spouse.  Find things in common, you didn't know you had using "The Chemistry of Lasting Love" activities list and guide to find what's most important to each of you.   https://www.theextraordinarymarriage.com/5NEEDS 

The biggest disconnect for couples is lack of communication, or maybe it's being unable to find healthy happy communication between yourselves.  Learning to have patience with each other.  As a Talker... I had to learn to listen.  It's simply giving respect to the other person, listening to what they have to say and contemplating before you speak.

Even though we have always been respectful of one another, we found great challenge in kayaking together because it requires communication and working together.  Of which we usually do well.  Without clear communication of which direction, we are going, we find ourselves working against each other, getting nowhere.  Ever find that in your daily life?

I may point toward a certain direction, and he interprets my words differently than intended because he has a different perspective.  It might be that he sees from a different angle, he sees a bigger picture, or we are simply looking at different things.   

Mant arguments happen because we each have a different perspective, put importance on different things, have or don't have patience.  No matter what's going on in your relationship, you can turn the boat around if you learn to respectfully listen to each other, talk kindly and get past yourself.

We often talk about selfish people, and less often, selfless people because there are not as many of those... but I believe there is a middle ground and that's... Self-Aware people.  When we all become self-aware people, we'll find our way to happy healthy relationships because we are working as a team, patiently Listening, Talking, and Listening again before we speak.

That's what I help you do... become self-aware, understanding what's causing the disconnect or irritation in your relationship.

First, learn what bring you together.

https://www.theextraordinarymarriage.com/5NEEDS 

Connie Durham

The Extraordinary Marriage Podcast

On Apple, Spotify, and Alexa