Overcoming Family Chaos in Marriage (14)

The kitchen sink is full, the counters are loaded, toys are everywhere and there are no clothes to wear in the drawers!  On top of that the kids are fighting, the parents are yelling and it's time for everyone to get into the car.

How did we lose control?  

Are you feeling hopeless?

Are you and your spouse irritated and frustrated with each other?

Home is supposed to be with the heart is, relaxation is, and it's the place you want to be most.  If not, it's time to take action and create the place you want to come home to.

First, I'll say that we are not all created equal when it comes to organization skills.  Top organizers are hardwired personalities that have great need for everything to be in it's place.  They are more than likely NOT reading this.  For the rest of us, we either were required to keep things neat as a kid or have realized it's a must, in order to function... happily.

It is these differences in personalities that often cause great division and frustrations for couples.  Begin to understand how you are each different and understand how meet back in the middle.  Check out my online workshop.

I was taught to be neat, but it's my mother that picked up after the whole family in order to keep the house neat.  When I got married, I found all the missing stuff from cleaning my room as a kid and teen, in my closet and under the bed.  I was not neat. 

BUT when my kids were babies and I forgot my KEYS more than once and my neighbor had to climb through my window to get them... (Can I say Embarrassing!) I realized the importance of always HAVING my keys.  I found a solution and to this day, I always have my keys.  

Super simple, one thing, when I unlock the house... I put the keys directly back into my purse.  For you, it might be to hang them on a hook by the door. 

What one thing would simplify your life right now?

-- Holding the kids accountable for their behavior.  I found counting to 3, made my life easier.  They learned the concept when they were small and that respect carried through into teen and adult years.  If I said 3... they got their bottom popped.  It's also worked with grandkids.

--Have a simple chore chart for yourself and the family.  Choose ONE day, 30 minutes, set the timer, and everyone does their chore at the same time. 

EVERYONE is working.  When they help clean it up... they don't want anyone to mess it up.

--Choose one or two days to do laundry so that it doesn't build up.  If I didn't do this, I wouldn't remember until I had nothing to wear.  I'd keep putting it off.  One good habit - SCORE!

--My mom taught me to put things away as I cooked.  (I do often still have dishes in my sink.)  This leaves less to do after dinner.

--Practice the art of RESPECT between yourself and your spouse, and the trickle-down effect will bring more respectful talk between your kids.

Choose one new habit at a time, practice it until you no longer have to think about it, and you will find more joy and peace in your home.

Hi, 

I'm Connie and I have all kinds of Podcast episodes that help you understand your spouse better, help for blended families, and how I've enjoyed my marriage for over 40 years and you can too. 

Visit me @ www.TheExtraordinaryMarriage.com - I live in the suburbs of Atlanta, GA with my husband Jeff.  Begin understanding your personality differences and begin working together as a team. 

#14 of 20 blogs in a month overcoming marital challenges.