The Power of Respect: Cultivating Peace in Marriage (2)

How Self-Aware are YOU?  Do you and your spouse mutually Respect one another?  Have you realized that being overextended whether it's personal commitments or money, affect your behavior toward your spouse?  On top of that your personal hard wired behavior style predicts how you react to the challenges themselves.

In this blog, I'm sharing ways that lack of respect and hard-wired personality traits influence how you react to one another.  Then I'll share five ways you can move past the frustration and begin enjoying more mutual respect.

Stop and think, how am I differently wired from my spouse.  I bet you could make a giant list if you take time to think about it.  It's these differences that cause disconnect, frustration, and those feelings of loneliness. 

Spouses that avoid conflict... they despise it, eventually begin to feel resentment.  Feeling disrespected comes out as sarcasm, withdrawal, or being defensive.  Another big behavior difficulty is the tendency to get angry or hostile.  This spouse may also lack empathy and pay no attention to how their "Way to Often" anger affects their spouse.

This is why my "ReDISCover Your Spouse" online workshop, changes the relationship between couples.  It makes you aware of your differences and the reasons you're having conflict.  You begin to know and understand each other.  Awareness is power and brings solutions.

So, what does lack of respect look like?  Over talking and not listening to the other person, rolling your eyes in disgust and making sarcastic remarks, making all the financial and life decisions without talking about it together, losing your temper way too often, and withdrawing, unwilling to talk it out... pouting.  And yes, we've ALL done one or more of these things.  

Here are 5 things to

Consider now

For more respect in your marriage.

1 - Make a point to LISTEN.  Talk about everything.  Communicate and share your feelings.  We love those that listen and share ideas, thoughts and solutions with us.  Two heads are better than one.

2 - Dig deep and put yourself in your spouses place.  This is key to understanding the other person and can create empathy and understanding.  Different personalities have different needs, wants and expectations.

3 - Uncover what you each do best.  Divide up the responsibilities and know what you are each good at or don't mind doing.  Nobody wants to be controlled or expected to do everything.  This can be quite the conversation but it's important!

4 - Wide open communication is the key to knowing each other better, understanding the different perspectives, wants and needs.  Talk about everything.  It's an exercise and you even if you're an introvert, it will get easier.

5 - Count your Blessings and give Appreciation.  In a world where Negativity is the loudest, you must fight to be positive, expecting the best.  Everyone reacts better when they are Appreciated.  Compliment out loud and often.  Lift one another up!

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says... "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Hi, I'm Connie form "The Extraordinary Marriage" podcast and the workshop that brings more peace, love, and respect even when just one spouse engages, because that one person begins to understand themself better, how they react to disrespect and why their spouse is acting the way they do.  It's different for everyone.

This is the 2nd of my 20-part series uncovering the challenges that happen in most marriages.

Join me for The Extraordinary Marriage Podcast

Connie Durham, Wife, Mom, Nana, Speaker & Relationship Coach

Atlanta, GA Suburbs