When Life Throws a Curveball: All Hands-on Deck to Navigate Life Events with HUMOR

When Life Throws a Curveball:

All Hands-on Deck to Navigate Life Events with HUMOR

Ever been to DISNEY… hot day… small children? Two of our kids were still small enough to take naps and you know there are no naps to be taken at an amusement park! My husband had already been walking around with a sleeping 2-year-old in his arms and a 4-year-old on his back. We made sure they were fed, and we rode the wet rides to keep everybody cool, but when afternoon came… we found a cool place to let them rest, the Presidents Hall. But as we got inside… our little ones were going down. Initially, it was just whining. We tried to explain that soon we’d be sitting down for the show but little people who are hot and exhausted fall into their emotions and I could see, there was little chance of comforting them.

At first it was small but as the whine got louder, more like crying, all three kids joined in. I do not like to cause a scene or draw attention to myself. Suddenly as I became extremely uncomfortable, I started to laugh uncontrollably!

I know it’s not the usual response, but I’ve always done this. Not on purpose, It’s MY emotional response to discomfort and embarrassment and as usual… my husband also began to laugh as all 3 of our kids laid in the beautiful marble floor, having a breakdown.

Two older ladies standing nearby walked over and laughed with us saying, we remember these days with our little ones, nothing you can do. Someone else relating certainly lighted our embarrassment.

I could tell you many stories of how I’ve embarrassed myself through the years. Many times, distraction would be my enemy. Sometimes I would really be hurt… but always come up saying… “I’m OK”. Even hurt… laughter would follow.

Laughing over embarrassment of mistakes or bad situations is impossible for some, you may be one… or married to one. It’s ok, we’re all biologically made different, and that began at birth. Purposely lightening up a bit could dissolve some of the barriers between you and your spouse. Disagreement and disapproval are a withdrawal from your Love Bank. What GOOD does it do to get angry at every little thing anyway?

I’ve talked about the four personality styles in the last few blogs. I am a high I style. I’ll let you look that up to see what it means. Thank goodness my husband is an S/I style, compassionate, peacemaker, and lighthearted himself. The opposite personality… the High C style, would have been so mad at me for laughing, the rest of the day would have been over, and the High D style would have yelled at the kids, not caring who heard him.

Truth is too often, we get just a little too serious, jumping on every little thing that goes on around us. It literally sucks the joy out of the air. Don’t take me wrong, I certainly have my serious side. I believe in prevention. Think ahead and plan so that life can be as FUN as possible. FUN comes from my I style and thinking and planning comes from my C Style. Everyone has a TOP personality style and then a little bit of one or two others.

We are all unique.

When it comes to keeping peace in our family, there are so many things to consider. Personality is one of them. It’s a big one because it’s predictable.

- When you begin to learn how your spouse is going to react and why, it helps you both deal with it.

- When you realize your biggest irritation with your spouse is not done on purpose, you might be able to look past it occasionally.

- When you both begin to understand the personality of the other, you can focus more on strengths and let go of the petty things that don’t really matter.

Hi, I’m Connie the Host of “The Extraordinary Marriage” Podcast and creator of the “ReDISCover Your Spouse” workshop where you’ll become aware of your own emotions, responses, and needs, and then as you learn, you’ll identify your spouse's style too. Do this workshop by yourself… then share it with your spouse… or do it together. What a conversation it will be.

www.theextraordinarymarriage.com/rediscover 

Restoring Relationships, Connie Durham