Help! My Spouse is Repulsive!

Oh my Gosh!!  When we get irritated with our spouse, we don't want to be AROUND them, we don't want to SEE them, we don't want to HEAR them talking and we sure don't want to get all Lovie Duby!

How do you get out of what I call the CRAZY CYLE??  It's a miserable place to be!  Hating on anybody is miserable but it's even worse when it's the person you live with and sleep with!

I just had an episode with a friend that I'll not name, but I know it's going to happen every time the group gets together, and I know WHY!  It's because I believe in Collaboration, talking it out and making a plan so that we all know what to expect, but this person insists on throwing a monkey wrench in every time we get together.  Whatever the PLAN, maybe they are driving, they will suddenly switch up the PLAN without asking, consulting, or caring what anyone else thinks.  I so rarely get irritated but every single time we spend time with this group, it happens.  Why? 

They mean well, but the plan... needs to be their plan... and they WILL suddenly switch... anytime they get ready to.  And that triggers... my Reactive Cycle.  I no longer feel friendly toward them... and I can't hide it.

Does the Reactive Cycle ever trigger spontaneous combustion in your home?

If the sight of your spouse is repulsive, what do you do?  Someone has to be the adult in the room and figure it out.  Ask yourself these questions.

1. Is it me?  Yea... you gotta do that first.
2. What usually surrounds the sudden incident? 
3. Is it how they're talking to you?  Not listening or maybe talking down to you?
4. Are either of you making assumptions... and acting on those?
5. Are one of you an Introvert and the other an Extrovert?
6. Were you brought up with similar beliefs, values, habits?
7. Do you know HOW to get past this?

Any of these things can cause division and must be addressed.

Well, this week's podcast with my son in law shares the "CARE" cycle.  This is where even one person can learn how to not REACT and move past the irritation.  Let's face it... when we are tired or stressed, we react quicker.

Listen now to the podcast and look for the Nuggets of Wisdom that begin to reduce the load, when it comes to your top relationship.  Putting some time in and looking for answers is more than worth it!

You can also schedule an hour with me where we explore what's coming between you and your spouse.  Don't wait till it's too late.  That is... the story behind so many divorces.  Suddenly one day, they can just do it no longer.

Would you like a listening ear?  Find encouragement, understanding and at least ONE thing that brings more peace.  Schedule below.

https://www.theextraordinarymarriage.com/fresh-insights-explore-one 

Connie Durham

Christian Relationship Coach

Atlanta Suburbs

Here's the Podcast