Reaching into my nightstand drawer, and fumbling through the junk for the TV control, I'm reminded that it's back to work. (After Christmas) Time to regain focus on what I want to accomplish this year.  There's nothing worse than wandering in the wilderness, listlessly, without purpose or direction.

As I go down the stairs for the first time this morning, which direction will I head?  What's the most important thing I'll do today?  Have I planned it?  Do I have a list?  What's first?  

As I prepare for a successful new beginning this year, I see overfilled drawers, closets, and clutter from the past year that cloud my mind with things I need to do and guilt for lack of action this past year. It's important that I let go of one thing, in order to do, what's most important to me.

What do you need to let go of this year, in order to enhance your marriage and family?  I like to say... Happy Couples = Happier Kids, because a healthy family life begins with a healthy, respectful, lovin...

For me, it's more fun to go to the party rather than BE the party!  Someone else has done the prep, invited the people, decorated, shopped, cooked, and is now serving.  I realized this at my first birthday party for my oldest son.  I loved planning, decorating the cake, greeting the guest... but as the party got started, I got busy and had little time to chit chat with everyone.

Talking with everyone is my happy place

It's Christmas this week, and as I go upstairs to take one more inventory of all the gifts I bought, making sure to have the same amount for each of my 15 grand kids, hoping they like what we got them, this is it.  Tonight, my family celebrates Christmas together.

With 23 people coming for dinner tonight, I have to tell you, it's hard getting everyone together all at once.  Sometimes I yearn to back it all up to the way it was 10 years ago when our group was smaller, easier, simpler.  But this is part of life.  The most important thing is passing along love, caring and...

It's taken me years to realize that self-awareness is the begging of successfully connecting to others.  Too often adversity and frustration with another person begins with our own mood, circumstances, or expectations.

Do you see everything that can go wrong, or do you shift to positive possibilities?

Are you overtaken easily by anger?

Would others describe you as patient or impatient?

You see... you must first know yourself before you can get along with others.

Excellent communication makes your spouse feel seen, heard, and appreciated.  After all, they are your #1 and they need to know it.  Touching base during the day, eating dinner together, going on a walk, discussing your day, planning for the week together, all keep communication open and positive.  One biggie when talking with your spouse is keeping a loving tone of voice.  It is said that couples need 15 hours together in some sort of way every week.

Listening... goes right along with excellent communication.  Eye con...

First let's address that NO Body wants to attend a family gathering where there's back biting and bickering!  Hurting people hurt others, they just can't seem to help themselves but... family is family. 

If we can be realistic and optimistic, knowing we're prepared before we go, there IS hope!  AND we all have to do things that are not just about US!  Going to that family gathering or office party with your spouse is a Must!

We allow people and the world to pull us apart as a couple, or we are determined and united to stand together.  What don't kill us, makes us stronger, LOL.  Ultimately being prepared with understanding of the people you're with will help you move past unwanted comments. Sometimes it's just best to not respond.

Everyone comes in with their own burdens, stresses, frustrations.  Learn to see people, know where they come from, and have a little mercy.  You see every behavior style at a family function.  

A - The Over Talker

B - The Booster

C - The Gripper

D - T...

Taking out the trash when it's full is a great habit because it keeps your kitchen from stinking up your house!  There are habits you use at work like, being on time, following through with responsibilities, and doing first things... 1st each day.  Your Habits will predict your future.  Great habits build repour, trust, and integrity with those around you.

So why don't we think about our habits with our spouse?

Many times, our behavior depends on our mood, emotions, and what's going on with the kids and work.  Are we getting enough sleep or is our schedule stressing us out!

Some people are patient and easy going while others become tense and impatient causing them to be critical or explosive.  Which one are you?

You see... if you are critical or explosive, it's like a daily badgering to your spouse.

You see... if you are on the receiving end, the air is literally sucked out of life... each and every day.

Here's the thing... more than likely...

You don't realize how your behav...

 Tis the season when we get so busy we lose sight of what brings us joy.  I know when I'm tired and grumpy, I'm not bringing joy to those around me.   

Working together and sharing responsibilities lightens the load for both of you BUT... some people lack the ability to think past their own needs.  If you're married to a spouse like this... personal growth is a process. 

It will take patience, but there is hope!

1 - Evaluate what you each experienced growing up.

2 - How close are your family values?

3 - Do you find it easy and enjoyable to live with your spouse?

If not, the only way to expect a lifelong marriage is to find

ways to overcome what divides you. 

After 46 years of marriage, kids, and life... I believe understanding how people think and make decisions differently, show emotions, and respond to stress... will move the needle in your relationship in the BIGGEST Way!  First understand personality, then decipher through the rest.  www.theextraordinarymarriage.com/redi...

No matter how long you've been married or what all you think you know about marriage, there's always going to be one more thing to learn.

My husband and I have been married over 46 years, I help couples shift from ho-hum or strained marriages to better communication, mutual respect, trust, and even more romantic love. But... just a few months ago we bought two beautiful cream-colored lazy boy recliners from my father-in-law.

We love them!  They're beautiful.  They're comfortable. 

But we miss each other!!

 Through the last 2 years of "The Extraordinary Marriage" podcast, I've shared a plethora of relationship concepts from...

• Setting goals together  
• Learning to listen to one another
• Not letting your past interfere with your future
• Understanding one another's TOP Needs
• How your values bring you together or push you apart
• The importance of understanding what makes you each both TICK

And here I am contemplating selling those appealingly beautiful, comfy chairs!

WHY?

Beca...

Feeling married, alone and wanting more out of life?

"If you're going to reach your goals, you have to start with a solid foundation, which is comprised of honesty, character, integrity, loyalty, trust, love, and faith"

Zig Ziggler

What does your relationship foundation look like?  Does it need some work?  Are you and your spouse both on board, doing what's necessity to make it happen?  What do you do if it's just you alone look for improvement?  You pray. You dig deep and you pray again.

Marriage is not always a bed of roses. 

Remember that even beautiful roses have thorns.

Pain fills us with emotion, negative voices, that stop us in our tracks and hold us hostage.  Where do we find the energy to keep going?  In prayer and with those who love us, pick us up and encourage us, allowing us to move forward one step at a time.

Hurting people hurt others, they just can't seem to help themselves.  They too want help but ask for it in odd ways.

--- Begin with prayer and picture...

You wake up, put your feet on the ground, and you're off to great day or... what if it's a bad day?  How's work going?  How's your home life?  What did you watch before bed last night?

More and more this world exudes hostility, negative politics, drug commercials that show beautiful pictures and words of death and sickness.

OK... that's enough of that!  It's up to you to use common sense, analyze, and decide what your day's going look like.  Yes... some days begin better than others, but what we focus on and listen to, contributes to how we feel for the day.

I challenge you to pay attention.  Focus on the things you WANT in your life.  

Opportunities, love, acceptance, positive people, good health and ideas that contribute to living well.  RIGHT?

So... if your relationships are suffering from any of the above negativities... figure out how to turn that around!  Create the life, you're happy live.  

Focus on all things that are good.

Be sure and watch the short video, and if you ...

Last Friday was Halloween and for the first time in years, we gave out candy.  You see, we have trees and live far off the road.  We built our house 37 years ago and quickly found out that no body walks us a long driveway in the dark!  Our Church held a "Trunk or Treat" this year, so my husband and I decorated with hay, pumpkins, and mums and had a Photo booth for families to take pictures.

I went to my first Christmas Concert this weekend... yes... Jesus only Jesus Concert with Charles Billingsley, a Christian singer of many years.  He was fabulous and to top it off, I got to lead the opening praise team of 5 ladies, God continues to stretch me even at this age.

You know, it is that continued growth that keeps me alive with passion and energy!  That same energy flows into my marriage, weekly blog, and my marriage podcast.

FIRST - I'm always looking for ways to appreciate my husband, on purpose and automatically.  Every person wants to be SEEN, Heard, and Appreciated.  Without this,...