Marriage is truly a journey.  Meeting that person you love to spend time with, talk with, and explore the worlds possibilities with.  Getting to know each other begins with dating and with each new season of life, the adventures grow.  How it grows is up to you.

As kids come along, attentions shift.  Children require a lot of energy and attention, but so does your spouse.  So how do you balance that?  I believe most everything has a trickle-down effect. 

Putting God first gives you the moral foundation and support you need and we must care for ourselves so that we have a full cup to give to our families.  Your spouse is next... #1, above your kids.  I know if you're a woman, you naturally lean into your kids, but don't forget your #1 relationship and the trickle-down effect.  When things are good with you and your spouse, the children will absorb those vibes from you, act and react, just like the two of you.

How do you keep your marital love growing?  By purposely finding ways to...

There are some areas of life that we are more knowledgeable or passionate about than our spouse.  Some we may feel are non-negotiable. If you want a great relationship, you're going to need to TALK about all these things and give the reasons they are important to you.  This is how you build the bond of communication and reasoning with your spouse and get to know the deep parts of one another.  You're each individual people with separate past, personalities and preferences. Learning to meet in the middle will solidify your union.

10 Areas to Discuss

1. Household Responsibilities - Discuss who does what and how to divide chores fairly.

2. Finances - Decide on budgeting, spending, and saving strategies that you can both live with.

3. Parenting Styles - Talk about how you each were raised and what qualities, values, virtues you want your kids to have, and the method of discipline you will use.

4. Social Life - This is where hardwired personalities come in.  Will you associate with sin...

It is what we don't know, that causes division in our marriage.

It's those things we are unaware of.  How we treat our spouse is shaped by how our parents treated each other and our core hardwired personalities.  

Some personalities are private, controlling, all-knowing, suspicious, oblivious.  Being aware of the ways we are causing disconnect in your marriage, can help you overcome those thorns that divide.  

 Here are five areas where couples often struggle with guidelines:

1. Family

   • In-laws and extended family can often step over the line especially in new marriages, leading to conflict.  Your spouse is now #1 and your family will still be there for you if they are well balanced people.

2. Work

   • Bringing work stress home can cause havoc in your relationship and resentment.  Take a minute to breathe and change modes.

3. Friends

   • In a new relationship, friends have to take a back seat and may expect the same time and priority they used to have.  Now your spouse is
   ...

My husband and I laugh a lot!  He still finds me funny even after 40 years of marriage.  We tease, pick, joke and sometimes even take something seriously irritating with humor in the end (After a heated discussion).  It keeps life light, interesting and it's easy to LOVE someone when you're having a good time with them.

But, what happens if you both are oh so... serious?  Get "The Chemistry of Lasting Love" and find things you both enjoy doing together, then identify what's most important to each of you.  Focus on what you learn for a few weeks.  It's Free.  Grab it now and put it to work in you marriage.

What happens if there's a lot of friction and hostility in your home?  Time to dig deep and engage in personal things you enjoy so you keep your own heart happy.  Watch episode 122 of "The Extraordinary Marriage" podcast, 🎉Creating a WIN/WIN: 🗝️The Key to a Thriving Marriage

Proverbs 15:13 says... A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.  

You may b...

How Self-Aware are YOU?  Do you and your spouse mutually Respect one another?  Have you realized that being overextended whether it's personal commitments or money, affect your behavior toward your spouse?  On top of that your personal hard wired behavior style predicts how you react to the challenges themselves.

In this blog, I'm sharing ways that lack of respect and hard-wired personality traits influence how you react to one another.  Then I'll share five ways you can move past the frustration and begin enjoying more mutual respect.

Stop and think, how am I differently wired from my spouse.  I bet you could make a giant list if you take time to think about it.  It's these differences that cause disconnect, frustration, and those feelings of loneliness. 

Spouses that avoid conflict... they despise it, eventually begin to feel resentment.  Feeling disrespected comes out as sarcasm, withdrawal, or being defensive.  Another big behavior difficulty is the tendency to get angry or hos...

Are you doing too much?  Do you feel scattered and a bit unorganized?  This affects your whole household.  Truth is that some people are wired with perfect habits while others of us... continually search for them, because we've realized that we need them, but they seem slightly out of reach!

When we capture just a few most important habits,

life gets easier. 

Marriage is like any major business.  Leadership starts at the top.  You find what works best for the two you, you experience more love and happiness, you work better together as a team, and the whole family benefits!

I say, TALK about everything!

You can't do everything, but you can do something. 

Keep reading and check off what you already do...  and SCORE! 

Now look for your top 3 you'd like to begin doing

And start with #1.... until established

Then go to #2.

1. Plan your time together. 

    * Life is busy.  Put your DATENIGHT on your calendar every month.

2. Talk about everything. 😄

   • Every week, set asi
   ...

 Can you hear it? 

Your spouse is screaming at the top of their lungs

in frustration because you owe more this month

than you have money coming in? 

It's happening every month and it's sinking the ship!

Lack of Communication: Talk about everything!  In order to get along with your spouse, you must uncover what you need most from each other and what you expect from each other.  If you have different spending habits, your marriage is a car crash waiting to happen.  Take the TIME to figure it out and more than likely, it's going to take some work.

   Cut the Hard Feelings Now:  Who's going to be the main bread winner and who's going to take care of meals, washing, cleaning, and raising the kids?  Is one job more important than the other?  Will you both contribute to income and household?  Create a Spending Plan and stick to it.  Be fair.

   Talk about your Spending Habits:  Do one of you need the latest and greatest to feel satisfied?  Are one of you the coupon queen (or king) ...

THINK about how you feel when you have done something nice for someone else.  Maybe you cooked a meal for someone coming home from the hospital, helped a sick neighbor with yard work, given money to help a family who lost their home, or watched someone's kids in an emergency.  

Being a person of virtue creates a positive energy deep within your soul, causing you to feel energetic and positively good about yourself.  Feels great right?

We like to be around helpful, honest, encouraging people.

True virtue means,

people are the same at home

as they are in public.

Why do most people treat their family differently than people in public?

How did your family treat one another?  You are most likely doing the same, because that's what you know and have seen.  Some say Virtue is old fashion and out of date, but families who treat each other kindly enjoy being together.

As couples we talk about what's for dinner, how we'll pay our bills, what happened at work today but rarely do we h...

In some families, both parents work for a paycheck, in others, one parent stays home and raises the kids.  Kudos to you. But the truth is sometimes both parents have to work to make ends meet.  Now both parents take turns cooking, cleaning, washing, caring for the kids.  That is... if you want a successful marriage without resentment.

Proverbs 31:28  says, "Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her." As mothers, we often find ourselves overwhelmed and exhausted, struggling to keep up with our busy lives. I was a stay-at-home mom, but I worked part time.  I found the combination fulfilling.  Besides... who more do I want forming and molding my kid's foundational thoughts and actions.  It was sometimes draining but it was worth it.  

Here are some things I've found helpful as you make your way through the journey.

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Motherhood

Stop and refill your energy. Rediscover what drives you and give yourself some credit. "God m...

As people we each have different formative upbringing, life experiences, and hopes for our future. We enter marriage with thoughts of sweet love and building a future together.  There are ups, there are downs, there are times we wonder if we'll successfully make it to the finish line.  We can, if we choose to.  If we listen to one another and truly care.  We can if we focus on what is right, instead of what we fear is wrong.

Truth is that we get hung up on what bothers us or irritates us about out spouse.

We get focused on that, causing us to be critical and judgmental.  Maybe we don't mean to, but that's what we do.  It's like fighting our inner spirit, we know it's not right, but it just bubbles out anyway.  The only way I know around this is to pray that God will help you see and focus on the good qualities of your spouse.

Take a look at the world.  Negative always gets more attention than positive.  Think about the last time you shared an exciting positive story about someone el...