In a world often filled with conflicting messages and values, it can be challenging for spouses to navigate their relationships according to God's teachings.

   The world's view often emphasizes self-interest, success, and instant gratification, while God's Word encourages love, sacrifice, and commitment.

   Understanding this contrast can help you align your marriage with God's principles, even if you are the only one fully committed to living by faith.

The importance of nurturing your marital relationship

7 Ways Following God's Word Strengthens Your Marriage

1.  Unconditional Love

   • Verse: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
   • Benefit: By modeling Christ-like love, you learn to accept your partner's flaws and imperfections, fostering a deeper emotional bond.

2. Encourages Forgiveness

   • Ve...

What is it that attracted you to your spouse?  What attracted them to YOU?

Has it changed?

Have you ever been a part of team sports?  Dance team, Volleyball, basketball, soccer, Prom committee, church committee, or high school reunion committee, to name a few.  Successful marriages = Great teamwork

If you have, and it was a successful committee, all members leaned into whatever one another did BEST.  Most likely someone lead, someone came up with ideas, some folks made those ideas even better while others organized or did the leg work.

Marriage is kinda like that. 

When you embrace and encourage what you both do best, things get done.

When you spend time together doing things you both like, your bond grows stronger.

When you master the art of conversations... that's talking about everything, you know what is most important to one another and find the middle ground.  Not just my way or your way, but our way.  A little of you... and a little of your spouse.

This makes you both f...

Friday was my husband's birthday... finally!  I say that because we graduated from high school together, but my birthday comes 5 months before his!  Ouch... since we are now both ??, I'm feeling my age.  Gotta get over that.

On his birthday Friday there were many things to be done, he said he was going to clean out a room in the basement, but I insisted we spend the day doing what he wanted to do.  We visited a granddaughter working at Dunkin Donuts in the morning, ate out for dinner and sat around watching Movies all day.

In between one of those movies we ran into "The Cosby Show" that most of us enjoyed watching back in the day.  (1984-1992) Not only a fabulous FAMILY show but as I watch, I was intrigued with their romantic bantering and Its Comedy!  

Even though all the kids were around, they lovingly picked at each other, complimented each other, and made goo goo eyes at each other.  They listen to one another, cared for each other, and respected each other. 

So many shows thes...

Are you asking why is my spouse so controlling

and how can I address this?

In some marriage, one person seems to control every aspect of the relationship leading to resentment and frustration.  Today we're looking at why this happens and ways that you can begin to move past it.  It may be a slow process because these people are either wired this way or have something in their past that warrants the need to control their life. They are also slow in changing. 

Understanding one another, and trusting your individual hardwired talents will steer you in the right direction.  Invest in your own understanding of how you are each hardwired specific personality styles.  

https://www.theextraordinarymarriage.com/rediscover 

5 Reasons for Controlling Behavior in Marriage

1. Hardwired Personality Trait

   • Some individuals are naturally more controlling due to their personality. This trait can manifest as a desire to manage situations and relationships to feel secure and it's natural to them...

When I heard this Bible verse, I used to think,

how in the world could that be true! 

Why would people knowingly do the things that destroy them?

Well, how about the alcoholic who's tearing their family apart but keeps drinking, the woman who desperately wants to slim down but keeps eating junk food, the person with a troubled childhood who wants a peaceful life but their baggage from the past keeps them from trusting and developing healthy relationships.

What do they all have in common?

Romans 7: 15-17 "For I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do... For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." 

I had to read it several times.  It's profound!

About 17 years ago my sweet life bubble was popped as my kids married into other families.  I learned that all families were not like mine.  Small challenges got bigger and I began to realize that the problems we have as parents - Unsolved - bec...

Have you and your spouse taken the time, to talk about what you expect from one another?  Do you realize that not having a conversation on this, leaves your relationship vulnerable? 

Successful businesses gather their team quarterly or even monthly in order to review where they are spending money, are customers happy, and what are we doing next?

Marriage is much like that.  You need a team meeting every two to four weeks to figure out what important things are coming up, are we meeting the bills, are there any repairs to be done, is our relationship growing or feeling troubled?

According to our personality style, we each have different expectations.  Think about it.  One spouse may be hot wired to clean up the kitchen immediately after dinner, bath the kids, read a story, and pick up the toys before sitting down to rest from the day.  The other may pile the dishes in the sink and sit down to watch TV and wait till the last minute to bath the kids... or maybe not even think of bathin...

The kitchen sink is full, the counters are loaded, toys are everywhere and there are no clothes to wear in the drawers!  On top of that the kids are fighting, the parents are yelling and it's time for everyone to get into the car.

How did we lose control?  

Are you feeling hopeless?

Are you and your spouse irritated and frustrated with each other?

Home is supposed to be with the heart is, relaxation is, and it's the place you want to be most.  If not, it's time to take action and create the place you want to come home to.

First, I'll say that we are not all created equal when it comes to organization skills.  Top organizers are hardwired personalities that have great need for everything to be in it's place.  They are more than likely NOT reading this.  For the rest of us, we either were required to keep things neat as a kid or have realized it's a must, in order to function... happily.

It is these differences in personalities that often cause great division and frustrations for c...

If you suspect your spouse is narcissistic, you may be experiencing their rage and confusing behavior daily.  If you can understand the causes, recognize the red flags, and behavioral traits, you may be able to find healing and hope.

Causes of Narcissism

Narcissism often stems from a combination of genetic, environmental, and psychological factors. Key causes include:

• Childhood Trauma: Experiences of neglect, overcontrol, excessive hostilities in the home, helplessness or excessive pampering can lead to narcissistic traits.  I would say childhood environment and upbringing are top causes.
• Low Self-Esteem: A fragile self-image may drive individuals to seek validation and power through narcissistic behaviors.
• Cultural Influences: Different Societies, emphasis on individualism and success can foster narcissistic tendencies.
• Personality - Some behavior styles are more apt to this when they deal with childhood trauma through anger.  

Red Flags of Narcissism

Recognizing early ...

It's been about 2 years since we got our camper and began camping and Kayaking at the lake.  We love spending those quiet moments together, having fun, talking, hiking, reading a great book, dreaming.  It is said that couples need to spend around 15 hours a week together doing such things and that it's important to have fun with your spouse.  Find things in common, you didn't know you had using "The Chemistry of Lasting Love" activities list and guide to find what's most important to each of you.   https://www.theextraordinarymarriage.com/5NEEDS 

The biggest disconnect for couples is lack of communication, or maybe it's being unable to find healthy happy communication between yourselves.  Learning to have patience with each other.  As a Talker... I had to learn to listen.  It's simply giving respect to the other person, listening to what they have to say and contemplating before you speak.

Even though we have always been respectful of one another, we found great challenge in kayaking...

Heading out in the kayak again, today I'm claiming better balance, because yesterday as I was preparing to put my second leg into the boat... I felt myself loosing balance... and OH NO... over into the water I toppled, splash!  It's October, it was still warm, but I'm WET!  Whatever!  Jeff and I begin Laughing uncontrollably.  I am always good for a laugh... silly stuff happens and either you laugh, cry, or get mad.  

Which one are you apt to do?  How about your spouse?

Your personality predicts how you respond to any situation. 

I remember years ago a friend and I were 3 hours late coming in from a shopping trip. We were on vacation together with our families, we lost track of time and even though the guys were worried, (There were ambulance sirens and this was before cell phones) my husband was just thankful, slightly bothered, but my friends husband was mad.  The guys had prepared spaghetti, and as we sat down to eat and we talked about it, the madder he became and the more I gig...